colours
i spent saturday mornings doing tai chi with two friends. one of them was into energy work. i never believed in that kind of thing, but since starting tai chi i’d been more open.
i told him i saw yellow at the tip of my finger.
he asked me what i saw on his. i said orange. it was faint but if i focused i could see it. he said he saw the same.
the other friend asked what i saw on him. i didn’t see anything but i said he was blue. it was just a feeling i had.
he said he wished he had these experiences. i told him to keep training. i thought it was cool but i wasn’t making a big deal out of it. he’d been getting good lately. i could tell.
when i got home, i tried fixing the new washing machine. it was second hand. the landlord had thrown the old one out and bought this one instead. the delivery guy didn't install it properly. the drainage pipe wasn’t fitted. he said we needed a part.
we had the part but it didn’t fit. to do it right we’d have to pull out plumbing and run the tube behind the dishwasher. i didn’t think it was long enough.
i called the landlord. he told us to do it ourselves. he said it would take 20 minutes. couldn’t we spare 20 minutes? it wasn't going to take 20 minutes. i told him it wasn’t our job. he got mad. i got mad. i hung up.
i needed clean clothes. i taped the drainage tube to the sink. the machine wouldn’t drain. my housemate and i had to do it by hand.
i opened the filter. the water was black. we tried pots and pans but they were too big. the water spilled everywhere. a plastic bag worked better. we filled four bags before it stopped.
the whole time we were laughing. at the landlord, at the machine, at the duct tape, at her parents speaking dutch on the phone while the kitchen floor flooded.
when we finished, she made dinner and i did tai chi in the garden. she made a plate for me. i said i’d cook tomorrow.
after dinner we lit two candles and sat down. we stared at each other’s left eye. i’d never done it before.
she said she saw me with long hair and thick eyebrows, like someone from old china. i saw her face turn into an old man. then back again. then the old man. then only her mouth and nose.
it spooked us. my body was tingling, goosebumps. the same feeling i get after a lot of tai chi.
so what did i do? i wished her goodnight. i brushed my teeth. i typed this out. now i’m going to bed. i wonder if i’ll have any dreams tonight. i wonder if the washing machine will work tomorrow.
written 21st september 2025